A quest for world domination.

It was Thanksgiving on Thursday and it seems that although I don't live in the US, I have a lot to be thankful for over there at the moment. My latest book "Movie Dinners" was lucky enough to be featured on the Entertainment Weekly website.

Have a look, some great quotes, photos and comments. Sorry, you will have to bear with me blowing my own trumpet but you have to realise in the world of Primary school teachers recognition on this scale is a rarity.

It is almost sold out on Amazon.com (fear not more are on order) and has had a couple of great blog reviews. Wish me luck with my mission.

How did I celebrate? With roast beef, green beans and purple potatoes. If we hadn't been so greedy yesterday I may have had enough for this recipe below.

On holiday this year we visited a brilliant diner in Baltimore, sadly not the one in the movie but just as great. For the record one of did have roast beef!

Diner (1982)

Roast beef sandwich

Avoiding the realities of life by hanging about with like minded truth dodgers is all part of growing up. For five boys living in Baltimore in the late 1950's the place where they manage to hide longest is the diner. Warm and well fed they discuss the important issues of the day, mostly their sex lives, either real or imagined. Venturing out to the cinema, on a date or occasionally back home they all seem happiest when wrapped in the warm fug of the Diner. You can recreate the same warmth and fug with these beef sandwiches and don't forget the side order of fries with gravy.
If you have seen the movie you won't need reminding to get your own box of popcorn the next time you visit the cinema.

Cast and crew

makes 12 to 15 rounds of beef sandwiches.

1.5 kg piece beef rump

(for each sandwich you will need)

2 slices of thick white fresh bread

100g thinly sliced roast beef

Butter

mustard, preferably English but Dijon if you have to. Never, ever use squirty mustard from a plastic bottle.

To serve

crisps (potato chips)

dill pickle spear

Mise en scene

Heat the oven to 200*C or gas 6

1. Place the beef in a large roasting tin. Roast for 1hr and 20 minutes. This will give you a rare roast, most suitable for sandwiches in my humble opinion. If you really have to, cook the meat for another 15 minutes for a medium finish.
2. Remove the beef from the tin and lay on a plate. Cover with foil and allow to rest. When the beef is a room temperature slice thinly for the sandwiches
3. Place the two slices of bread onto a large plate. Spread both slices with butter and then smear one buttered side of bread liberally using the mustard. Fill the sandwich with huge quantities of beef, wafer thin and still at room temperature is beat. It allows the butter and mustard to melt together, basting the beef from top and bottom in buttery juices.
4. Slice the sandwich in two. Impale each half with a frilled cocktail stick to hold it all together. Arrange a handful of crisps (chips) artfully as a garnish. Sit back and talk to the guys.
5. If you ordered something different and now covet your friends sandwich ask them straight out for a bite. Don't beat about the bush. Say the words, "I want that roast beef sandwich."

Voice over

Save the pan and the meat juices for making gravy. The boy's accompaniment of choice to beef sandwiches seemed to be chips (fries) and gravy. Tip the pan and drain the fat and juices to one corner of the pan. Remove the majority of the fat. I aim to leave about 1 to 2 tablespoons of fat in the pan. Place the roasting tin on a very low heat on the hob and tip in 1 tbsp flour. Using a wooden spoon or a whisk cook the fat and flour together to create a paste. As you do, scrape all the tasty dark bits up from the bottom of the pan. After a minute of cooking out the floury taste add 300ml of warm stock to the tray and allow to bubble. If you need to add more warm stock a little at a time until the gravy is the thick enough to stick to the chips. Taste and season with salt and pepper. Anoint those fries and share with your besties.

Comfort food for the soul.

I realise the rest of the country is watching Strictly/X factor/I'm a Z list celebrity but not me. The TV in my lounge has transported me back to my childhood and is blasting out an episode of Dad's Army. I didn't even need to reach for the DVD or cable remote. 20.11.10 BBC2 7:50 Dad's Army http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b007bq31

Nothing like a little nostalgia to cheer you up. Not that I am old enough to remember the war you understand but in the 70's this was what passed for Saturday evening telly! A plate of Dolly's cucumber sandwiches might too. I know you'd prefer Jones' sausages in a bap but you can't have everything. There is a war on!

My Brother and I -Christmas special 1975

Godfrey's sister Dolly's cucumber sandwiches

“I wonder if you'd care for a cucumber sandwich? They're very nice, my sister Dolly makes them"

There is no getting away from the fact that the motley crew assembled to enrol as the Walmington-on-sea home guard are a peculiar bunch of misfits and let's not be coy about this, skivers. As we travel through life we occasionally meet those individuals who always seem so "otherworldly". Godfrey is one of these people. He is such a kind and gentle man that whilst the Eastgate platoon could quite easily bully him mercilessly about his ways, a friendly ribbing is all he seems to receive.

In return Godfrey acts as both the first aider and supplier of cucumber sandwiches and upside down cake made so ably by his sister Dolly. Rarely appearing but constantly referred to by Godfrey Dolly toils away in the cottage kitchen producing these delicacies as and when needed.

One such occasion was the sherry party held by Capt Mainwaring for his commanding officers. Acting as waiters, the platoon hand around the sandwiches whilst trying to fend off the drunken antics of Mainwaring's brother, Barry. As cucumber sandwiches are not known for their alcohol absorbing properties locking him a room with a bottle of whisky is their best alternative. Gatecrashers Hodges, the Vicar and the Verger seem to polish off most of the sandwiches and declare them tasty and delicious. The sight of Hodges cramming the sandwiches into his mouth three at a time has to be a classic Dad's Army moment for me. That and the "Don't tell him Pike" one. Remember - they don't like it up'em!

Mise en scene

cucumber thinly sliced

white tin loaf

softened butter (or margarine, don't you know there's a war on!)

Sea salt

Its all in the edit….

· Using a vegetable peeler peel the green outer skin from the cucumber. If you are using outdoor ridge cucumbers this is a vital step. Indoor or hothouse cucumbers do not need peeling but it adds to both the look and the finished texture of the sandwiches.

· Slice the cucumber very thinly. Don't panic! Don't panic! Please use a knife for this as a mandolin is not only terrifying to use but also makes the slices too thin on this occasion.

· Lay the slices onto a plate and sprinkle with a little salt. this will draw out any bitterness as well as a little of the excess moisture.

· Slice the bread thinly, butter as delicately as you can. Be careful not to tear the bread as you do so.

· Taking a sheet or two of paper towel pat the cucumber dry.

· Cover the bread with a layer of cucumber and place another buttered piece of thinly sliced bread on top.

· Using a serrated bread knife cut away the crusts and discard, actually no, in the spirit of Make do and mend, keep them to one side for use later as breadcrumbs or a stuffing.

· Cucumber sandwiches are traditionally served cut into fingers rather than squares or triangles.

· Place a paper doily onto a plate from your best china set. Lay the cucumber sandwich fingers on top and employ an elderly gentleman in a white jacket to hand them round to your guests.

· In the words of Mr Godfrey, "Delicious, Dolly has a wonderful way with cucumber sandwiches."

Voiceover

Cucumber sandwiches, fish and chips, upside down cake and copious cups of tea feature heavily in this slice of British wartime life. Food to fill you up and keep you going. There can't be many sitcoms that could get away with a whole episode about "the turkey dinner general purposes committee."

I'll have toast, A little piece of toast.

Not felt like food much recently. To be honest, you really don't want the gory details, suffice to say that in the words of Paul Young all I have wanted is "Toast, a little piece of toast." I seem to be feeling better today which is brilliant news as I'm off to Masterchef Live later and I have a wonderful piece of rib roast in the fridge. If that doesn't reawaken my appetite then nothing can.

If, however, when I get back I'm still not feeling too hot I could always follow the example of The Blues Brothers, minus the fried chicken of course!

The Blues Brothers

"4 fried chickens and a coke, and some dry white toast please."

I really don’t like ketchup, never have done and I doubt I ever will. Something about its thixotropic consistency and overly sweet taste really bugs me as well as the fact that I don’t think it tastes remotely of tomatoes. Even if it was dark and I was wearing sunglasses I’d still turn down the offer.

However The Blues Brothers, Jake and Elwood take the prize for food fads. It says a great deal about the narrowness of their diet that even after a “residency” in Joliet their order is instantly recognisable even through a kitchen wall. Matt “guitar” Murphy would dearly love to join the brothers in the band but Mrs Murphy is significantly less impressed. “This is my man, this is my restaurant, and you two are gonna turn around and walk right out of here - without your dry white toast, without your four fried chickens, and without Matt 'Guitar' Murphy!”

The scare tactics don’t work and the band reforms. With their tank full, the cigarettes nearly all smoked and on a mission from God the boys set about alienating almost anyone with power in Illinois. The best car chase since The Italian Job finishes the movie in style. They do leave without the four fried chickens but Jake gets some toast. Do we need a recipe for toast? Believe me, making decent toast takes time, effort and the right ingredients. I’d use decent butter to finish the whole thing off but perhaps Jake feels the same way about butter that I do about ketchup. EEwwwww! No thanks.

Mise en scene

One day old loaf of crusty bread

Sharp bread knife

Wide mouthed toaster or oven with grill

It’s all in the edit...

1. Take the bread and place onto a bread board. The bread must not be too fresh as it will not slice cleanly. If you do happen to have really elderly bread this isn’t good either. It will be too dry and your toast could shatter whilst being eaten. I said toast needed a recipe.
2. If you are using a grill put it on to heat now, a medium to high heat should be fine. If you own one of those toasters that is so expensive that it needs to be listed on your household contents for insurance purposes make sure you have the toast cage ready.
3. Slice the bread into 1 ½ to 2cm doorsteps. Cut carefully so that the bread remains the same thickness all the way down.
4. Pop under the grill and watch like a hawk. Do not allow yourself to be distracted. Toast is like a toddler, it will do something terrible as soon as you take your eyes off it.
5. When the toast is the colour you like, anything from a pale caramel to almost charcoal in this house, turn it over and repeat for the other side. Remember the toast is now warmed up and will take less time on this side.
6. If you are using a toaster less is more, start on a low number and cook a little at a time until the desired toast hue is achieved.
7. Jake ordered his toast plain. Me? I like plenty of salted butter and either decent jam where the fruit is still intact or Marmite. Lovely.
8. Hum Minnie the moocher or whistle Rawhide as you do the washing up.

Hint and tip

You can buy all sorts of gadgets to help you create the perfect slice of toast. Plastic thinks to make messages on the toast for your lover or ornate toast racks to prevent rubbery toast. If you have an open fire then a toasting fork would be my recommendation. Better than television in my opinion.

A fruit and nut case.

I've had a bit of a nutty weekend. I'm going through a cupcake phase at the moment. I know, I know I should have moved on to Whoopie pies by now but I'm a sucker for a patterned cake case and I have a cupboard full of them to use up.

As it's Autumn I decided on apple and hazelnut cupcakes. Full of apple puree with home made shards of hazelnut praline on top they were a fantastic antidote to the huge quantities of food I consumed at a Diwali banquet on Saturday evening.

Still on the fruit and nut vein, and as a direct result of my self inflicted gluttony on Saturday salads are in order for the next few days. Waldorf salads all round. I might just have to have a square of fruit and nut for afters though!

Fawlty Towers (Series 1 1975, Series 2 1979)

Waldorf salad

“I think we’re just out of Waldorfs.”

Some of you may find this hard to believe but in the days before t’internet finding an hotel for the night involved trips to the library, membership of a motoring organisation and long distance phone calls made before 5pm, as the receptionist went home then.

Mr and Mrs Hamilton faced exactly this dilemma when booking a night at Fawlty Towers. Add to this the American couple’s expectations of customer service, the fact that it actually existed for a start, and you know Basil is due for a spectacular meltdown with Sybil willingly fanning the flames.

Service at dinner had been fraught, the prawns were off and the chef had to leave for a date at 9pm. Basil’s truculent nature wasn’t about to let these Americans swan in and order food just because they had had a long journey and were hungry. Couple with this the fact that Basil has no idea how to make the dishes and drinks they order and he wasn’t in the mood for a cooking lesson from foreigners!

Mr Hamilton kindly lists the ingredients for us should we wish to recreate the dish. As for the steaks, the screwdrivers and the tale of the ten taxis then perhaps you had better watch the episode to find out if they ever did get that meal. You also get a bonus recipe, for a Ritz salad but surprisingly as it was an invention of Basil’s own there were very few takers.

Mise en scene

1 tart red apple cored and chopped

1 tart green apple cored and chopped

1 handful of walnut halves

6 sticks of celery chopped

1 handful seedless grapes, halved

2 tablespoons of good mayonnaise

Lemon juice

Salt and pepper

Its all in the edit….

1. Check the kitchen cupboards are you lucky, do you have Waldorfs?

2. Core and chop the apples into bite sized chunks. Place them in a bowl and squeeze over some lemon juice. Toss the apple pieces well in this juice as it will prevent the apple from browning before it is eaten

3. Add in the mayonnaise, the chopped celery and halved grapes. Combine well and make sure all the ingredients get a little slick of mayonnaise.

4. Scatter over the walnuts giving them one quick turn around in the bowl. I like my walnuts to remain reasonable mayo free but it’s up to you.

5. Taste and season, this will depend on the tartness of the apples and also the seasoning already in the mayonnaise.

6. Serve with a screwdriver, a steak and a large side of animosity courtesy of your host.

Voiceover

Mr and Mrs Hamilton had to settle for vodka and freshly unscrewed or even ring pulled orange juice, it was the 70’s remember. A decent screwdriver is 1 part good vodka to 4 parts freshly squeezed orange juice. Have a nice day!

I'm sorry you want what?!

I can hear my mum's voice ringing in my ears as I discuss menus with my children. Choice? you are giving them choices! To be fair to my children the choice is what to eat as a family not what each individual wants to eat. Mum's mantra was, "I am NOT running a hotel, if you don't like the food cook something else for yourself!" Thanks Mum, you made me the woman I am today. If Mum's main courses had been half as magnificent as her puddings I'd be incompetent in the kitchen and probably thinner!

One family favourite is spaghetti and meatballs. None of this "I'll just have plain pasta please" that I sometimes get from visiting friends of my girls. Plain pasta! I just don't get it. Not in my house. At least have a little olive oil and garlic for pities sake.

The Lady and the Tramp (1955)

Spaghetti and meatballs

"Aha, Okay. Hey, Joe! Butch-a he say he wants-a two spaghetti speciale, heavy on the meats-a ball."

Stars twinkle, an Italian chef croons a love song in the background and love is definitely in the air. The star struck pair are fortunate to have been given the Chef’s table so favoured by A listers the world over. From here they can hear and see the chef chopping, slicing and almost certainly swearing at his kitchen brigade. Such is the depth of their love that they only have eyes for each other. This is why they probably ordered spaghetti and meatballs.

A more treacherous first date meal I cannot imagine. The trembling hand of a nervous lover can’t twiddle spaghetti with any dexterity let alone get it into the mouth without dripping sauce down their shirt front. Once in the mouth stray strands of spaghetti whip viciously sideways to give the eater the look of a scarred man. Spearing a meatball too is fraught with danger, get the trajectory wrong and they can hurtle unstoppably into your loved ones lap, leaving only a tomato coloured snail trail. Once captured they cannot be eaten whole, but this discovery is often only made once the meatball is in the mouth and a question has been asked of the eater. The least said about garlic breath the better. These lovers don’t care. They are so engrossed in each other that when they share the same spaghetti string and end up kissing, every one watching sighs and smiles.

mise en scene

meatballs
500g lean mince (lamb or beef)
100g fresh breadcrumbs

100g finely grated cheddar cheese
1 egg beaten
salt and freshly ground black pepper

Oil for frying

sauce

stock
sieved tomatoes (passata

fresh basil

Parmesan

Garlic, crushed)

It's all in the edit.

1. In a large bowl combine all the meatball ingredients together until well mixed.
2. Using damp hands pinch off walnut sized pieces of mixture and roll to create ball shapes. Place to one side until all the meatballs are made.
3. Heat a tablespoon of oil in a large frying pan and add the meatballs to the pan. Do not move in the pan for five minutes otherwise your meatballs will disintegrate. Turn gently every few minutes until all the sides are browned.
4. Once the meatballs are browned add in the crushed garlic and cook until just browning at the edges. Now add 300 ml of passata (you can push a can of tomatoes through a sieve if you are feeling either butch or masochistic but I wouldn’t bother) and enough stock to just come half way up your balls.
5. Simmer gently for 20 minutes until the meatballs are cooked through.
6. Read the pasta packet and put your pasta on so it is ready at the same time as your sauce.
7. Serve with long spaghetti, freshly torn basil and freshly grated or shaved parmesan. Sharing this with a lover whist listening to some Italian accordion music could be the start of something beautiful.

The light at the end of the tunnel!

I'd be a complete liar if I didn't admit that there are several thrills associated with writing a book and seeing it published. Top of the list has to be holding a final copy, seeing your name in print and hoping others will see it too. Following quite close, is hearing what others think of your work. I prefer the complimentary ones but even those that are less than cheery help me, an accidental author, to improve my craft.

I think most authors would agree with me on the above points but as someone only relatively recently published the next item on my list is probably seen as quite immature but I get a huge thrill from seeing my book in a proper shop.

Today for the first time I spotted Movie Dinners in WH Smiths. (See the above rather grainy photo taken on my mobile earlier today) It was my local branch so I did ask a shop assistant if they had a policy of getting books in by local authors. I wondered if they had done me a favour as I live a few miles away. No, came the answer, we just get what we get! I'm so pleased they got me, well Movie Dinners anyway. And they put me next to Nigella!

Bribery and corruption

Nancy Drew – Get a clue (2007)

Lemon bars

I am not averse to using food for a variety of different purposes. In my dim and distant youth I made bean and pea collages at school and proudly carried them home whilst wearing my highly prized painted macaroni bracelet and necklace combo. I’ve used food to seduce and food to appease but Nancy Drew hits the jackpot. She uses food to bribe. I’ve done that too, I will admit to waving a bag of chocolate buttons at my grizzling child in a supermarket hoping to gain a moment’s peace and quiet. Nancy is much craftier than me; she discretely opens her silver cake tin to reveal beautifully baked lemon bars and blondies. These sit beckoning the intended victim to take the bait. The merest whiff of the squidgy lemon topping and government agents tell her all she needs to know. Barely have they had time to wipe the crumbs from the corners of their mouths than Nancy is off. Sleuthing and baking, my kind of girl.

Mise en scene

Base

150g self raising flour

80g icing sugar

110g butter very cold

1tsp ground ginger

Topping

2 large eggs

200g caster sugar

2 tbsp self raising flour

Zest of 1 lemon

Juice of 1 lemon

Pinch of salt

It's all in the edit.

1. Pre heat the oven to 180C.
2. Line a 20cm square cake tin with baking parchment.
3. To make the base sieve the flour into a roomy bowl, do the same with the icing sugar and ground ginger.
4. Cut in the butter and rub in until the mixture resembles large breadcrumbs. Press the crumbs into the bottom of the baking tin. Don’t worry about being too tidy as the amount of butter in the mixture will allow the base to spread and level in the pan.
5. Bake in the oven for between 15 and 20 minutes until golden and firm.
6. You can either allow the base to cool or pour the following mixture straight over the hot base it doesn’t really matter.
7. The topping is made by whisking together the sugar, eggs, flour and salt. Grate the lemon rind over the mixture as this captures the lemon oils released as well as the rind. Whisk in the lemon juice and pour straight onto the base.
8. Bake until the filling is just set. It will take up to 20 minutes. Think lemon meringue pie or lemon curd as this will give you an idea of the set you are looking for.
9. Allow to cool, dust with icing sugar, cut into bars. A decent cup of tea and a mystery to solve is the only accompaniment these bars need.