I'm a Celebrity with Ant and Dec!

I'm a celebrity get me out of here (2002 - present)

Crocodile legs

Both Ant and Dec and "I'm a Celebrity" won at yesterday's National Television Awards. Try this meal in tribute!

"Please eat for me Colin, I’m starving!" Justin begged, live from the Bush Telegraph. "Eat chocolate, candy, chicken sandwiches and chips, potatoes, bread. Eat everything, and when you do it, eat by proxy so I can get it too!"

Along with doctor, lawyer and teacher being famous is now a career choice. It appears you don't have to really have more than a modicum of talent to be a success, you just need a bit of media exposure. Where then is your less than average Z lister going to get this? Why the answer is simple, maroon him or her in the Australian jungle for a week or two, cover them in insects, ritually humiliate them and feed them on nefarious animals private parts.

Dressing everyone in khaki is canny way to humiliate the fashion conscious too. Rebelling against the routines and trials is everything. Investing in a really well made and possibly very revealing item of swimwear for the shower seems to raise the profile of the wearer significantly.

For those crowned King or Queen of the jungle A (well ok B or C ) list status and tabloid notoriety seems guaranteed for weeks to come. The sad unfortunates who are voted out in the first two rounds or so just get a fortnights paid holiday in a luxury resort in Australia whilst they wait for the show to come to its climax. Their profile is raised enough that they probably don't have to spell out their surname when they ring to book a table at The Ivy. I know who the clever ones are!

They also got to eat far less of the Bush Tucker. Crocodile is about the only food from the show that you would choose to eat. Have a try.

Mise en scene

100g crocodile meat per person

1 lemon zested and juices

1 lime zested and juiced

1 chilli deseeded and chopped

1 tbsp honey

2 tbsp flavourless oil

salt

pepper

Its all in the edit….

· Undertake a bush tucker trial to gain your stars and more importantly your food. Poke about the box and hope to goodness the food inside is something you recognise and which could be palatable.

· If the crocodile legs still have their skin and toes attached hope to goodness that you have a chef or at least a sharp knife in the jungle with you.

· Cut the meat into 1" cubes. Combine all the remaining ingredients together in a non metallic bowl. Tumble in the crocodile meat and mix well to ensure that each cube has a coating of the marinade.

· Leave to rest in the marinade for 30 minutes. During this time send a fellow captive to collect long thin sticks to be used as kebab skewers. Whittle one end to a sharp point. If you are at home scrabble around in the kitchen drawer to find the bamboo skewers you know you had in there last summer. Soak these skewers in water.

· After marinating thread the crocodile onto the skewers and place over a barbecue until just coloured. Crocodile should be cooked until medium rare only. Leave to rest for as long as your hunger allows and then devour. Thank your lucky starts they didn't give you anything really nasty. Go to bed and dream of escape or at least being voted out.

Voiceover

I know it's an old cliché but crocodile is similar in many respects to chicken. Keep it moist when cooking it and add flavours before you cook as it will readily accept this.